Life Of A Model

April 27, 2011
A Model Life: Who is That?
By Madison Plus


Seeing your own face stare back at you when you walk into a store or open a catalog is a rare and unique experience. It’s hard to describe the feelings I get when I see my own work.

Sometimes, it’s exciting! It’s a sense of “Look Mom, that’s me!” and of accomplishment, especially if it’s a job that I’m extremely proud of.
Sometimes, it’s nostalgic. It reminds me of a specific crew or an unbelievable place where I shot. It can even feel personal, like private travel photos leaked onto the Internet and into millions of households.

Sometimes, it’s just bizarre. Although I know it’s a picture of me, it’s also how the client perceives me. The transformation I undergo with hair and makeup is often surprising to me. One day I could be made up to look like the fun, approachable girl-next-door and the next a sexy, unattainable temptress. And let’s not get into my ethnic background. Pinned as everything from Puerto Rican to Indian to Italian, I become whatever the client wants me to be…or, more importantly, what they NEED me to be.

It gets even stranger when I see a picture of myself and don’t recognize it as me until someone points it out. Or, when I’ve been so retouched that my defining features cease to exist. Then, I begin to wonder why they hired me in the first place. Was I just needed as a template? I have trouble understanding when clients go in this direction, but I’ve come to learn that it’s just the nature of the business.
I still haven’t gotten used to the range of feelings I have when my pictures surface, but I do know that it’s impossible not to judge myself in that moment. I may love the way a photographer was able to capture my curves and want to immediately text the shot to my boyfriend. Or, I may look at a shot and notice a large roll on my hip or a too-gummy smile and want to hide it under my bed. This is something I have no control over. Once that picture has been printed, there’s no “untag” button like there is on Facebook. I know this is part of my job and that the luxuries without a doubt outweigh the consequences, but there are definitely those pictures I’m happy to have floating around the world and those I’d really prefer were deleted…or burned. Unfortunately, it is what it is. There’s no way around it.

I also find it interesting how much I can’t help but scrutinize myself, yet who really pays attention to the models sporting their favorite brands? Unless it’s a celebrity, do you really remember the model wearing that cute dress you bought online? Or, do you just remember the dress?

I know before I became a model, I paid NO attention to the girls wearing the clothes. I just envisioned what I may have looked like in them. But now, the people in my favorite brands no longer have foreign faces – they’re my friends and colleagues. Now, when I’m browsing at the fliers in my mailbox or catch a glimpse of a billboard in the mall, I actually notice the people….not just the clothes, but the models.

To know that I am part of the sea of faces renders me speechless. I get to become part of a brand and contribute to its potential success. I’m thankful for these experiences (that’s for sure), but I still wonder when and if these feelings will ever change.